Ladybugs
by TuffMuffin
Summary: Tenten has a weird allergy that Neji isn't to happy about... CHAP. 16: Akatsuki's "preparing for the battle" ritual is... a little strange...
1. Chapter 1

**Here is my fist Neji/Tenten fanfic!!!! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… if I did, Tenten would get so much more screen time and there would be a whole episode dedicated to her where everyone is like dying and she comes and saves everyone's asses and then they will change the show from "Naruto" to "Tenten" and… ok, I think I'm getting a little ahead of myself here…**

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Tenten shrieked with all her force, while jumping into Shino

Aburame's arms. Shino was looking a bit shocked, half because Tenten was in his arms

and half because of what had scared her.

Neji glared at Shino, but he had to feel a hint of curiosity to.

"You're scared of _ladybugs_?" he asked, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Tenten whimpered softly into Shino's coat as an answer.

"Uh, it's ok to let go now… I could just send the bug away you know," he said, still a

little bewildered.

"No, no! It'll come back for me!" she wailed.

Now this was more than just a little fear. This was more like a dread or horror.

"Tenten." Now Neji's voice was grave. "Shinobi aren't usually supposed to be afraid of

such little things."

"But they're so _scary_!"

"Hn. We'll talk about this later. Now, why did you come for us Shino?"

"Hinata wanted to see you, Tenten. She's sick and needs you to do something for her."

"Alright." Tenten said, regaining her composure and jumping out of Shino's arms.

Neji gave Shino one last glare and walked towards the Hyuuga compound with Tenten.

Tenten was back to her normal self now, humming under her breath… wait… humming?

Tenten NEVER hummed… and what was this she was humming… sounded familiar, he

just couldn't place it…

'_I want to be the very best, like no one ever was,_

_to catch them all is my real test, to train them is my cause…' _

She was humming the Pokemon theme song lyrics?!? Ok, something was definitely up,

first the ladybug and now this!

What started with humming was now a full force singing. Neji stopped and stared at \

Tenten, while she continued screaming out the lyrics of the song. When she was gone,

she began giggling madly… it was starting to creep Neji out. Had she been drinking?

"Tenten are you _drinking_?" he asked.

"Of course not, why would you say that, Neji?" she said, while hopping on one foot

around him.

"Because you're acting…weird."

"Isn't life weird?"

Ok, this was getting freaky.

And when she pulled out a magically appearing Inuyasha-type sword (A/N I don't own

Inuyasha either…) and began cutting down every little thing in sight was when Neji knew

this had to stop.

"Tenten!" he said, trying to grab a hold of her without getting his head cut off (which was

proving to be difficult), "What's wrong with you?!?"

Tenten was laughing hysterically by now.

"It's-it's-it's those ladybugs!!! I told you they were out to get me!" she said between

laughs.

'What is she talking about?' Neji thought.

"I'm allergic!"

Neji stopped whatever he was doing (trying to keep his head on) and stared at Tenten,

who was still giggling.

"Allergic?"

"Ya!!!! When I'm around ladybugs they set off this kind of smell that my brain reacts

really badly to! It's as if I'm high! Or hyper times a 100, no, hyper times A MILLION, or

even better, hyper times-"

"Ok, ok, I get it. Is there an antidote?"

Tenten nodded and began jumping around again.

"Well? What is it?"

"I don't know! Tsunade has it!"

Neji hned and gestured her to follow him. She did, but not before breaking into another

song. This time it was "I'm a little teapot". Oh God, the humiliation as he walked through

town, with her following right behind him. She was going to pay after this.

"WAIT!" she hollered suddenly, stopping in her tracks.

"What is it _now_?"

"We forgot about Hinata!"

**Uh oh… Tenten high and Neji pissed and Hinata sick… this is gonna get weird…**

**By the way, I'm actually terrified of ladybugs to ******** not allergic, just terrified…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay I got reviewers! Thanks a lot people! Okey dokes, so here's the second chappie!**

Neji stopped walking as well, once he realized that they had forgotten the whole point in their mission.

Muttering curses under his breath, he grabbed the currently twitching Tenten and ran as fast as they could to the Hyuuga compound. Damnit damnit, damnit.

How could he be so dumb? What if Hinata was seriously sick? Wait a second, if Hinata was sick, why didn't she tell him, or why didn't he know?

She lived in the same house as him! And why would she want Tenten, of all people? They weren't especially close. But if Hinata was

sick, they had to do something. Only problem is, Tenten is sick as well and he would NEVER trust her to be alone in this kind of situation. Great, the genius doesn't know

what to do. This pretty much spells out apocalypse.

"Neji, Neji, Neji. How could you forget your own sister?" Tenten said, mock scolding.

"She's my cousin Tenten."

"Ya whatever. I'm not sure I would care if she was your mother, you still forgot her."

Neji flinched mentally at that comment.

"You forgot about her too you know."

"Shut up Hyuuga, you suck."

She was gonna regret saying that when she became sane again.

"Hey Neji, I'm thinking about goin' rockstar, wanna join?"

Wow, now that was random.

Neji glared at her in response to her very dumb question.

"Neji, you are so dumb. You keep on running when we already passed the Hyuuga place

like a mile ago."

Neji stopped and inwardly hit himself for being so stupid. It was true, when he turned

around, he saw the big mansion type place in the distance. He hadn't even noticed. I

guess worrying about Tenten and Hinata got to him.

Tenten started laughing like a mad scientist. She then started doing some ballet positions,

but Neji grabbed her before she could continue.

When they (finally) reached the Hyuua compound, Tenten was told that she had to see

Hinata immediately, alone. But Neji would not let that happen. Hinata would probably

die of fright in the condition Tenten was in right now.

"No Hiashi, you don't understand. Tenten is currently in a very… crazy condition. Hinata

might be scared." Neji explained calmly.

"It was Hinata herself that requested she see Tenten alone, so I'm sure she can handle it."

Hiashi's cold eyes drove Neji to agree, as long as he was nearby to help _just in case_.

In Hinata's room

Tenten burst in randomly, finding a very sick looking person lying in the bed.

The girl's eyes fluttered open, revealing beautiful lavender ones.

"T-Tenten?" The usual sweet and innocent voice sounded croaky, as if she had just

woken up (which she had by the way).

"Yo Hinata, I decided I wanna be gangsta, yo wanna join id wit me?"

"T-Tenten, I n-need you to get s-something for me…"

"As lon as we go gangsta man."

"Tenten?"

"Yo."

"L-ladubugs?"

"You got id righ sista."

"I know another antidote Tenten, other than the one that Tsunade has."

"Bring it on."

"I'll tell you but then you have to get something for me."

"Dokey."

Tenten suddenly burst out of Hinata's room and ran towards Neji. He got up from where

he was sitting, expecting to hear some news. What he didn't expect was Tenten kissing

him. He stood stock still, and eyes wide open. He had no idea what to do. When Tenten

broke apart, she looked at him square in the eye.

"Wow, Hinata was right, that was a good cure."

Neji didn't move.

"Well, I would love to stick around and have a staring contest Neji, but I have to get Hinata something."

"Is she ok?" Neji finally managed to ask.

"Yeah she's fine, just ran out of pads."

Silence.

"You still don't get it Neji."

Silence again.

"Boy, you sure are hopeless." She said, as she was turning for the door. "By the way, you are a terrible kisser Neji, we have to work on that."

_Tenten just kissed me_ was all he was registering during that whole time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay (seems to be my new favourite word) thank you so much reviewer people!!!!**

**I actually had absolutely no idea how to start the romance between Neji and Tenten so I just made them kiss… no comment.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… to bad. **

Neji was wandering around Konoha aimlessly, trying to sort out his mind. He was still pretty freaked that Tenten kissed him, but what scared him even more was that he _liked_ it.

Yes, he, Neji Hyuuga, the emotionless, cold, impassive, blank, whatever other synonym you can find for unemotional, liked to kiss. Well, this was new.

Feeling fed up with thinking to much (A/N yes, its possible, I feel it all the time at school…), he finally decided to go and train.

Reaching the training grounds, he heard two familiar voices going on about the "springtime of youth". Guess who.

Neji knew he wouldn't be able to train with those two, so he was turning around when they called for him.

Oh damn, he has to make a run for it. Oops, to late.

"NEJI MY ETERNAL RIVAL! I CHALLENGE YOU!" Lee shouted gleefully.

Neji rubbed his aching forehead (yes, it started hurting when he overthinked) and shook his head.

"What?!? Why Neji, why?" Lee said crying huge anime tears.

"Hn."

"NEJI! IT IS VERY UNYOUTHFUL TO SPEAK IN ONE SYLLABLE WORDS!" screamed Gai, who chose now to finally speak.

But Neji was already walking away, having decided to go get something to eat.

* * *

Tenten had just come back from getting Hinata her pads, and she was trying to find Neji. So it had been kinda rude of her to kiss him like that. But it did cure her allergy

symptom. How, she had absolutely no idea, but Hinata had gone through this whole scientific explanation having something to do with ladybug scent, byukagan, genes, and

lollipops(she wasn't actually sure about the last part but she thought she heard that word somewhere in the middle of the speech). Ya, okay, it had been really rude, but she was

basically high, so there was not much she could do… If she didn't do something to cure herself she would've gone gangster… now that would've caused some problems…

-shudder-

_Okay, moving on_, Tenten inwardly told herself.

She continued he search for Neji.

* * *

Neji poked at his ramen, suddenly losing his appetite due to the person next to him who was currently eating ramen at an unhealthy speed. It was kinda scary.

"Heh, washup Nehi?" Naruto asked with his mouth full of food.

"Hn. Nothing much."

"Awe you gowa finis dat?"

"No, go ahead have it," Neji said, pushing his plate towards Naruto. Naruto cheered and began pigging out once again.

Neji got up to leave, but someone behind him was calling his name. He turned around to see Tenten running towards him full speed, waving her hand at him to wait.

He waited for her to come and when she did, it took her a couple of seconds to catch her breath. And when she did, she spoke.

"Hey can we talk, Neji?"

Neji nodded his response and started walking. Tenten, knowing this sign as a way of saying "follow me" walked up next to him.

"Uh, Neji, look I'm really sorry about that kiss, but according to Hinata, it was supposed to treat my allergy. I mean, she made a freakin' scientific speech about it damnit!"

Neji stopped when he heard this.

"She told you _what_?"

"She told me it would treat my allergy!"

Neji stared at her with a look of surprise in his eyes.

"You are so dumb Tenten, that would never work."

"So, your what your saying is, Hinata _lied_?"

* * *

Somewhere, Hinata is laughing evilly…

* * *

A confused looking Tenten was sitting down on a bench in Konoha Park.

"I still don't get it. Why would Hinata want me to kiss you? Plus, it did work, my allergy went away." Tenten said.

Neji sighed. "Well, I have no idea what Hinata was thinking when she told you that, and I also don't know how your allergy went away AND just to tell you, your allergy isn't

gone for good, its just gone for now."

"I think I know that it isn't gone forever, thank you very much." Tenten snapped back at

Neji. "But maybe my allergy just wore off, you know like a poison or something."

Neji thought about this for a moment before responding.

"Yes, that could be it, but that wouldn't explain why it went away, you know, right _then_…"

"I see what your talking about."

"Hn."

"This is crazy, lets just forget about it and I will never get close to a ladybug again."

"Agreed," Neji said as he got up from the bench.

And then, quick as a whistle, a ladybug flew out of a bush and landed on Tenten's nose.

And the Tenten started giggling.

* * *

**Sweet, a cliffhanger… **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hehe, major OOC in this chapter…**

Tenten started to laugh uncontrollably. Tears of laughter ran down her cheeks. Neji was in a state of shock, all the while thinking, _shit_. Just when she had recovered from her

first allergy attack, another god damned ladybug had to come out. Stupid ladybugs. This was actually starting to scare Neji (key word: starting). I mean, all these years, she

had managed to avoid ladybugs, and now, all of a sudden she gets two allergy attacks in a row. Man, this was weird. Almost as if someone was setting this up…

* * *

A very evil looking Hinata was looking at Neji and Tenten through the bush. It had been really stupid of them not to notice her presence, but they seemed to be thinking about

something. Well, it just made her mission easier… She quickly brought out a box out of her kimono pocket and opened it. Inside, lay one ladybug…

* * *

Tenten was prancing around Neji now, talking really fast, something about, Clifford the big red dog, candy and the amazingness of quilts. Wow. Meanwhile Neji was trying to

catch her, but she kept on escaping his grasp, running away while jabbering something about tag. Man, was she fast.

Neji was now desperately trying to get her, running around like a chicken without its head.

" OOOH NEJJJJI YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!!!" Tenten screamed out.

Neji just jumped on her, and finally, he had her trapped. Holding her down to the ground, he was wondering what to do next. He wouldn't be able to hold her down for much

longer, because of the way she was struggling. He had only one chance to do something before she escapes. But what should he do? Man, he was bad at this. But then an idea

popped into his mind, an absolutely absurd idea, but it _had_ worked last time… and he basically had no other choice right now…

Neji bent down and kissed Tenten on the lips gingerly. She stopped struggling almost immediately. To any passerby this would've looked really wrong… (I mean, he's pinning

her down to the ground kissing her for God's sake, how suggestive can it get!) but luckily, no one was around. Realizing that his kiss was just a second to long, he ended it

immediately. Looking down to her face though, she looked so peaceful with her eyes closed, as if she was sleeping… wait a second here, she WAS sleeping! Wow, he must

really be a bad kisser for her to fall asleep DURING the kiss! Groaning inwardly to himself, he picked her up bridal style when he decided to take her home.

He was walking in any random direction when he realized, that he had no idea where Tenten lived.

"Oh, great," Neji muttered to himself, completely unaware of the people behind the bush observing him.

* * *

"He's talking to himself?" Kiba asked, full of awe.

Shikamaru shook his head. "Impossible. Hyuugas aren't crazy."

"Yes he is! Just today he DIDN'T FINISH HIS RAMEN! If that's not crazy, then I don't know what is." Naruto exclaimed.

"Oh, will you guys shut up? I'm trying to figure out why the hell he's holding an unconscious Tenten. He better not be crazy AND perverted." Sakura whispered.

"Oh Sakura, you are always thinking about the worst. You have an imagination almost as big as your forehead." Ino said. "Plus, can't you see she's asleep? He's OBVIOUSLY

trying to find her place, and he's OBVIOUSLY taking her there so she can sleep, not for perverted reasons. Duh."

"Wow, Ino, since when are you so smart?" Kiba, asked, once again filled with awe.

"I've always been smart, I just don't get enough screen time to show it." Ino snapped.

"Okay, now both of you are getting troublesome, so can we please just tell Neji that Tenten doesn't have a place to live, I mean, it's easier to just tell him then spy on him."

"NO! WE CAN'T DO THAT! SPYING IS ALWAYS WAY FUNNER!" Naruto yelled out into Shikamaru's poor, defenseless ear.

"For once, I gotta agree with Naruto." Sakura said, as both she, Ino and Kiba nodded.

But Shikamaru didn't hear any of that, because he was currently deaf.

* * *

Neji had now laid Tenten down and was banging his head on a tree, trying to brainstorm for ideas. ("Yeah, he's definitely insane." Naruto confirmed.) But instead of making him

think of ideas, his mind was becoming more and more muddled. Seriously, he hadn't even thought of _waking Tenten up _yet! That's gotta mean something.But luckily, Tenten

woke up because of all the noise Neji was making from banging his head against the tree.

"Neji, what the hell are you doing?" Tenten asked, now fully awake.

Neji looked up at her, startled that he hadn't noticed he wake up.

"I was trying to think of where you lived." He said.

"Well, if you didn't want to wake me up to ask me myself, why didn't you just ask the people hiding in those bushes?"

"People? What people?" Neji asked.

'Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino, Naruto and Kiba.They're all hiding in the bush over there."

("Shit, we've been discovered, lets make a run for it!" Kiba whispered.)

"Well, now they've run away, but they were there a second ago." Tenten continued. Neji banged his head against the tree one last time for being so stupid.

"Neji, you really need to stop doing that, it looks like your going emo."

"Hn." Neji said, while thinking that he was going crazy.

"Neji, I think your going crazy."

Wow, she was psychic.

"You aren't acting like your self." She continued.

It was true. He was not acting like himself, but neither was she.

"Neither are you. All these allergy stuff, falling asleep in the middle of a kiss and then not talking about it when you wake up is weird." He said.

"What do you mean all these allergy stuff? I've only had one allergy attack. And what do you mean falling asleep in the middle of a kiss?"

"You don't remember?" Neji said, surprised.

"Remember what?" Tenten said, feeling rather left out.

Neji sighed. Maybe he would tell her another time. He wasn't really in the mood to talk.

"Nevermind." He said, and started walking away.

**Wow, that was a really random and useless chapter. Especially the part where Sakura, Naruto, Shikamaru, Ino and Kiba come in. Random.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, I dedicate this chapter to my reviewers; **_**loves-emo-guys-with-hair, **__**Gabbyrella, **__**catilena1890, **__**KKCoolGirl, **__**4give4get, bloodystars357**_**. You guys rule! **

When Neji walked away, he left a rather confused Tenten behind. She had absolutely no

idea what he was talking about. What was all this crap about another allergy attack and a

kiss? This was getting weird. Especially the fact that Ino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Naruto and

Sakura were spying on them and Neji didn't notice. It kinda felt like Batman was falling

in love with a leaf. Ya, it was that weird and random.

Tenten got fed up with thinking about how weird this was getting, so she got up and went

home. Only problem was, Tenten didn't _have_ a home. She kinda got kicked out when her

family had had enough of her weapons and stuff. Whatever.

Tenten just walked over to Ino's house, hoping she wouldn't mind a sleepover…

"A SLEEPOVER?!? TENTEN THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I'LL INVITE HINATA AND

SAKURA TOO! Ino shouted at Tenten.

"Jeez, no need to yell, woman." Tenten said, as she rubbed her forehead. "You're giving

me a headache already."

"Whatever Tenten, time to go call Hina and Sakura." Ino said as she pulled Tenten into

her room.

"Hey Hinata? It's Ino. Oh is Sakura there to? Cool! You guys are coming over for a

sleepover ok? Ok. See ya here!"

"Wow that was the shortest sleepover arrangement I have ever see." Tenten said.

Ino flipped her hair. "I know, I'm a natural." She said.

"Hey Ino, what was with you guys spying on us today?" Tenten said out of curiosity.

"Uh, well… um… IT WAS ALL SAKURA'S IDEA! I told you she was evil."

"Yeah, rrrright…" Tenten said while rolling her eyes.

But at that moment the door bell rang, and Ino used her ninja speed to open it in a record

time. From downstairs, Tenten could here lots of greetings and yelling and insults and…

random exclamations… After what seemed like a million years, all the other girls came

up in Ino's room to join Tenten.

"Sheesh Tenten, you gotta greet your guests." Sakura told her once she entered the room.

"Ya, well, I'm a ninja, usually ninjas don't really care about those kinda stuff."

"Ninja don't usually go to sleepovers to, and here you are!" Sakura retorted.

Tenten turned her head away, trying to hide her blush.

"Not like I had a choice." She mumbled.

But Sakura was already in a deep discussion with Ino and Hinata involving proper and

stylish training outfits. Oh joy.

* * *

The next morning, Tenten had left as soon as possible to get to training, but not soon

enough as to escape Ino and Sakura's wrath. Hinata, being the secret evil genius she was,

suggested that they give her a makeover. A bloody _makeover_. And right before she had

_training_.

"You guys! Neji is already creeped out by my allergy, imagine what he'll think when I

come to training covered in eyeliner and lipstick!" Tenten whined.

"No use struggling Tenten. Plus, what do _you _care what Neji thinks of you?" Ino said.

Tenten opened her mouth to say something, but her deepening blush answered for her.

"I knew it! You _do_ like him!" Ino exclaimed happily.

"Oh, shut it Ino. I don't like him. It's the prospect of him seeing me like this gets me nervous that's all."

"You don't like nii-san?" Hinata said fake-tearfully.

"No, no! That's not what I'm saying! It's just that- I- urg, you guys are so annoying!" Tenten said.

Inner Hinata cackled evilly.

"Whatever you guys, I'm gonna wash this stuff off and go training-"

"WAIT NO! YOU CAN'T WASH IT OFF!" Ino and Sakura yelled out. "I DARE YOU

TO KEEP IT ON FOR THE WHOLE TRAINING SESSION!"

Tenten smirked. "You think a _dare_ is gonna stop me?"

"No but I think this will," Ino said as she activated her Mind transfer technique on Tenten.

* * *

Ino moved around to get used to Tenten's body before going to training.

"Wait Ino!" Hinata exclaimed randomly. "You have to make Tenten wear something

more _figure-fitting_ if you know what I mean…"

"Hinata you are a god damn genius!" Ino yelled out happily before checking her own

wardrobe for anything… suitable…

"I got it!" Sakura said as she proudly held up a pair of tight black short shorts and a light

pink tube top corset shirt. To add to the outfit, she added a pair of light pink earrings. A

pair of light pink _ladybug_ earrings. Neji was so gonna have a hard time resisting _this._

(A/N Don't ask why they think Neji is gonna have a hard time resisting it when it has the

ladybug earrings, I guess they just think that Neji will get turned on or something…

suckers…)

"Ok, time to go ladies." Ino said in Tenten's body, as she moved towards the door.

* * *

Neji was mad. Really mad. Wanna know why? Because, first, Tenten was late, and then,

when she finally decides to come to training, she is wearing inappropriate clothes and

makeup! It was horrifying! Gai and Lee were going on about how great it was that she

was finally showing her youthfulness though. It was shameful how fine they seemed with

this concept. What confused Neji though was that she was wearing _ladybug earrings_.

What. The. Hell.

"Oh Neji-kun! Do you like my new outfit?" Tenten asked happily. But what Ino was

really thinking was '_Haha, you'll be drooling over me soon enough __**Neji-kun!**_'

"I don't like it."

Well, that was harsh.

Ino/Tenten pouted. "That was mean Neji, I put _so_ much work into this outfit."

"Go back to your old outfit, I like it better."

"You _liked_ it? Ino said, batting her eyelashes.

"Tenten, stop acting weird and lets spar."

_Well, he is definetly not the nicest cookie in the jar_, Ino thought, scowling.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok peoples, here is the next chapter. Once again, thanks to all my reviewers! **

Ino fell to the ground. She couldn't believe it. How could Neji train this hard?!? How

could Tenten stand it _every single day!_ Oh God it was exhausting to be in Tenten's body.

I mean, all this was to attract a certain Hyuuga for Tenten, but all she get's in some sort

of twisted acknowledgment was getting beaten to a pulp. Fantastic. Now she can't feel

her own legs.

"Neji-kun, can we _please_ stop for today?" Ino whined helplessly from the ground.

Neji smirked before replying. "Isn't it to early? You can usually last a lot longer than

this."

"Ya, well…um… IT'S MY TIME OF MONTH!" Ino randomly blurted out. 'Man, I'm a

genius.' She thought.

Neji looked rather startled at this response, not sure what to say. "Uh…ok"

"So can I go?" Ino said hopefully.

"No."

What an asshole.

* * *

"I wonder how Ino's doing." Sakura said thoughtfully. She and Hinata had gotten bored

of just hanging around so they were currently going through all of Tenten's stuff.

"I-I'm sure sh-she's just fine." Hinata said as she looked through a bunch of Tenten's

journals from the academy days. Sakura looked over her shoulder and laughed.

"Aww, that's so cute, I can't believe she remembers those days." Sakura said.

Hinata sighed and nodded, not taking her eyes off the journal. Who knew, it might

provide her with important and useful information…

* * *

"PLEASE!"

"No."

"PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE?"

"Tenten, please get up so we can continue."

Finally, Ino had had enough of this insensitive jerk. She lost it completely.

"NO! You wanna know why? Because I'm sick of this! This constant training! Being in

Tenten's body SUCKS."

"What do you mean "being in Tenten's body"?"

"Oops…"

* * *

"OH MY GOD HINATA YOU WOULD NEVER GUESS WHAT I FOUND!" Sakura

yelled out to Hinata… who was right next to her. The frightened kunoichi jumped back

but then calmed down a bit and walked over to Sakura.

"W-what is it?" She asked curiously.

"I found…" Sakura paused to create a bit of intensity. "I found… a Barbie collection."

* * *

"So let me get this straight; you jumped into Tenten's body to somehow get me and her

together."

"Yup, that's it. You didn't need to say "so let me get this straight" I mean, you only say

that when you don't get something, and this is pretty easy to understand."

Neji glared at Ino for a while before getting up from where he was sitting.

"Ino, get back into your own body."

"Okey dokes, I just need you to do one thing when I get out."

* * *

"You found a _Barbie collection_?!?" Hinata thought of all the ways she could blackmail

Tenten with this.

"Ya! Right here, underneath her bed. Man, you'd think that she'd find a better hiding

place for something… like _this_." Sakura collapsed in a fit of giggles.

* * *

"What?!?"

"You heard me."

"I am not doing that."

"Then I'm never gonna get out and your going to be forced to train with me forever and

ever and-"

"Alright."

* * *

"So, what do we do with it?"

"I dunno, blackmail?" Hinata said optimistically.

Silence.

"Hinata, your crazy." Hinata pouted before suggesting they play.

"That's a great idea! I haven't picked up a Barbie in years!"

* * *

"So, there's the plan. You better have remembered it."

"I still don't see the point in this."

"Shut it, Hyuuga, just do what I tell you to, ok?"

* * *

"Wow, I haven't had this much fun in years!" Sakura laughed as she picked up a Barbie

with long blonde hair.

"I know!" Hinata giggled.

Suddenly Ino's body shifted. Both Sakura and Hinata looked at eachother with horrified

looks on their faces. What would Ino think when she saw them playing with _barbies_?!?

They would never hear the end of this one!

"Hey, you guys what are- ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING WITH BARBIES?!?" Ino

exclaimed. Of course, this was Ino's expected reaction. "WHY ARE YOU PLAYING

WITH BARBIES?!?"

Sakura and Hinata where speechless. Hinata dropped both her head and Barbie in shame.

"Uh… this is awkward… let's drop the subject…" Sakura said.

"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? I JUST SAW YOU PLAYING WITH

BARBIES AND YOU EXPECT ME TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT?!?"

"Shut up Ino-pig, we'll talk about it later, please and thank you."

"Fine, but this ain't over."

"How did the thing with Neji go?"

Ino grinned evilly and began to explain.


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow, ok I gots myself some reviewers here! Thank you so much people! Ok, I think I'm gonna just name my reviewers 'cause you're such good loafs. (Yes, loafs.)**

**Thanks to loves-emo-guys-with-hair, lover143, Lyris88, mwth06, KoolKittyKat256, ****Thekingofb.s, Gabbyrella, catelina1890, KKCoolGirl, 4give4get and bloodystars357. I actually just named some of my old reviewers but that's okay, it makes me look more popular :P. **

"You did what!?!" Sakura exclaimed.

"I made him dress up in a Barney costume and walk around town exclaiming his undying love for

ramen."

"Oh… Em…Gee, Ino. THAT WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN!"

Ino scowled. "Ya, but common, he made me train like a maniac, so I'm allowed to have my fun. Plus,

I thought Naruto was gonna kiss him or something when he screamed out that he loved ramen. It was

hilarious."

Sakura's horrified face intensified.

"INO-PIG ! NOW NEJI IS GOING TO KILL US ALL!"

Hinata quietly giggled at the whole commotion as she picked up her Barbie and began brushing her

hair.

* * *

Tenten was absolutely terrified. Having just come into her own body, she was about to have to face a

VERY angry Neji… shit.

She didn't see any of this, but Naruto had told her how Neji had so bravely gone around Konoha in a

while Barney suit while exclaiming his absolute love for ramen.

"I think I'm in love…" Naruto had told her, with a faraway look in his eyes.

But being the smart kunoichi she was, she figured that Neji wouldn't randomly go around in a Barney

suit for no reason, and she had a small hunch that it had something to do with Ino going into Tenten's

body…

"Oh, Ino, you are so dead after this…" Tenten whispered to herself.

"Indeed she is." A cold voice said behind her.

Tenten whirled around to face an enraged Hyuuga. But no, it wasn't Neji…

* * *

While Ino and Sakura were fighting, and Hinata playing with a Barbie, Neji was hiding in a closet.

Why? Because of a stupid Barney suit. He was never coming out again. Again, we ask, why? Because

The freaking costume wouldn't come off. I mean, the stupid costume was unrippable! No matter how

Many time Neji tried to cut it with a kunai, it wouldn't rip. What… the… Hell…

"Neji."

Neji looked up from where he was sitting in the closet to see a bewildered looking Sakura.

"N-Neji-kun, are y-you all r-right?" A nervous Hinata asked from behind Sakura. Ino was cowering

somewhere in a corner.

"The suit won't come off." He mumbled.

Sakura and Hinata, and even Ino couldn't help but giggle, but they were silenced real soon by the glare

Neji was giving them.

They quietly helped him out of his costume. As soon as he was out, they couldn't help their laughter

Anymore. They were interrupted by knocking on the door. Ino went forward and was surprised to see

Hanabi there.

"Neji," Hanabi said looking past Ino. "Hiashi wants to see you right now. Like, instantaneously.

Instantly. Without delay. Straight away. Immediately. Without more ado. Direct—"

"Ok, I got it." Neji said impatiently, while pushing past all the girls. Hanabi followed him.

"So… what did'ya do today Neji?" Hanabi asked innocently, with a hint of evil in her voice (A/N its

possible, I think…).

"Hn."

"Aw, common Neji, you can tell me _everything,_" she said, putting unnecessary emphasis on the "everything".

"You already know, don't you."

"Duh."

"Then don't bother me about it."

"Never."

"You evil little—"

"Neji…" a cold voice from behind them said. They had reached the Hyuuga compound by now, and as

they turned around to face the speaker, Neji felt a nervous feeling going through him.

"Hiashi-sama." Neji greeted. Hanabi had left by now, probably frolicking somewhere.

"Neji, I have something of yours in my office. Please come and _dispose_ of it." Again the unnecessary

emphasis on the "dispose".

Neji nodded and followed him into his office. At first look, the office seemed fine. But then Neji

realized that there was something screaming and thrashing in the closet… how he could have missed

that earlier was a mystery…

Neji stared at the closet before Hiashi urged him to go and get his thing. Neji ran over to the closet and

opened the door, to find a very pissed looking Tenten.

"Tenten?"

"Yes, its me Tenten, and its about time you came Neji." She said in an angry voice.

"I wasn't expecting you."

"Well what did you expect, locked in your uncle's closet?!? A pony?" Secretly, Neji actually did want

a pony…

"How did you get yourself into this mess?" he mumbled while untying the ropes aroung Tenten's

ankles and wrists. But before he could untie them completely, Hiashi was by his side, looking horrified.

"What are you doing? I went through all this trouble to get her for you so you can punish her—"

"Punish her?" Neji asked.

"Yes, punish her for embarrassing the whole Hyuuga clan! She made you go around in a Barney suit

God's sake!"

"I'm not going to punish her, Hiashi."

"YES YOU WILL! IF YOU DON'T I WILL!" Hiashi yelled, pulling out an Inyuasha type sword…

"Hey, I have the same sword." Tenten said randomly. But Hiashi couldn't hear her, for he was

drowning out all sound with his evil laughter (now we know where Hinata gets it from…).

Suddenly Neji just hit Hiashi on the head with a randomly appearing baseball bat (lots of

randomness in this story), grabbed Tenten, and ran.


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter is for my beloved reviewers! **

**Oh ya, and, in the last chappie, when I wrote that Hiashi wanted Neji to "punish" Tenten, I seriously didn't have any wrong intentions. Sorry if I mislead you.**

**By the way, I keep on forgetting to put a disclaimer on my chapters… oops… please don't sue me…**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Naruto.**

Tenten didn't actually realize what was happening until they reached the forest, Neji was

running so fast. She felt like she was flying instead of being dragged.

"N-n-neji ssslow down!" She managed to say, even though it was extremely difficult for

her to say anything at all, with the wind rushing against her face.

"Hn." Neji said emotionlessly, but he slowed down. Finally Tenten's feet managed to

touch the ground. Soon he stopped altogether and let go of Tenten's hand.

"Wow… your uncle is weird." Tenten said.

"Hn."

"What was up with that?"

"No idea."

"Are you going to give me any explanation whatsoever?"

"Absolutely not."

"Hyuuga, you are sooooooo annoying."

"Hn."

* * *

Meanwhile, Ino and Sakura had gone back to their bickering and Hinata to her Barbie-

hair-brushing. All was well until Hinata put down her Barbie…

"You guys." Hinata said suddenly while getting up.

Sakura and Ino stopped fighting and looked up to Hinata.

"What's up, Hina?" Sakura said.

"I have something that I've been wanting to tell since forever."

Suddenly Ino was all ears to the gossip.

"So, what is it?" she asked excitedly.

"This is very important and confedential, so I'm only going to say it once."

"Ok, hurry up, spill it!"

"Listen closely…"

* * *

"Ok, if you don't tell me what's happening, I am going straight back to Hiashi…"

"I just saved you from your death and you want to go back to find it?"

"Hold on I'm not done. … straight back to Hiashi… to tell him about that embarrassing

little moment after the chuunin exams…"

Neji gasped. Yes, Neji ACTUALLY gasped.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, yes I would."

"Fine, I'll tell you why he wants to kill you."

"I know why he wants to kill me, because of Ino and the Barney suit, but what I really

want to know is why you stopped him from killing me."

"Tenten, that was the stupidest question you have ever asked."

"No its not."

"Why would I let Hiashi kill anyone of my friends?"

Now it was Tenten's turn to gasp.

"You consider me one of your friends?"

"I thought that was evident."

"Neji, we have to go and celebrate! Let's have a PARTY!"

* * *

Neji leaned against the table. Right now, he was hating Tenten to the core. She had

thrown a_ party_. Almost everyone was there, except for Ino, Hinata and Sakura. They

were probably doing some girl stuff. Ew.

Other then that though, Shikamaru, Kiba, Lee, Shino, Naruto, Chouji, Sasuke, and for a

some odd reason, Kankuro, Gaara and Temari decided to show up.

Tenten was beyond excited, she didn't even seem to notice that her friends were gone.

Not that Neji minded that the two hyperactive girls and Hinata weren't here. But Temari

made up for all of them, with the temper she had. It was surprising that even after the

fight between them at the chuunin exams, Tenten and Temari were good friends. Weird,

eh?

Tenten was busy entertaining everyone and Neji was being… Neji. AKA he was sulking

in a dark corner. ANYWAYS…

"HEY EVERYONE! I'M BORED!" Naruto yelled out. "LET'S DO SOMETHING."

"YA!" Kiba agreed.

"Ok, what should we do?" Kankuro asked.

"I KNOW! LET US PONDER ABOUT THE YOUTHFUL MEANING OF LIFE AND

ALL IT'S BEAUTIFUL GLORY!" Lee shouted enthusiastically.

"Ya, Lee, let's." Tenten said sarcastically. Everyone else chose to ignore Lee's

suggestion. Unfortunately, Naruto didn't seem to get the memo that he was supposed to

ignore Lee, so he sat on the floor to ponder about life. Now everyone chose to ignore

Naruto.

"So, how 'bout we play truth or dare?" Chouji asked.

Everyone's reaction was "Eh… whatever, I've got nothing better to do…" or "OMG I

AM SO EMO!" (Sasuke). They were about to start when suddenly the door burst open

and there stood Sakura and Ino, looking all bruised and beat up.

"Oh Lord, you have no idea what just happe—" Sakura began.

"Oh good, you guys came just in time for the game." Temari interrupted.

Both beat up girls were like 0o0.

"Nobody wants to know what happened to us?!?" Ino screamed.

"You'll tell us _after the game_. Now come and sit." Tenten said in a demanding voice.

"Oh fine, but right after this game, you guys are all ears." Ino said.

"Ya, ya whatever. Where's Hinata, anyways?" Kiba asked.

"Oh, probably going around torturing people." Sakura said, hoping to arouse curiosity or

attention.

"Oh, cool." Was all Kiba said in return. He hadn't actually reistered what Sakura had said

_yet._


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok, I have decided that my chapters a WAY to short, so this is a long one. Oh, and there are hints of Shika/ino in this chapter.**

**Thanks again to my wonderful reviewers! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… tear**

Ok, truth or dare… with ninjas… this was NOT going to turn out good… there's also the small problem that Ino and Sakura probably just got tortured by Hinata… but for some weird reason nobody seemed to care… or maybe they were all just to excited thinking about truth or dare to notice… (A/N I'm using lots of dot dot dots …)

"So, who goes first?" Shino asked (which was weird because he almost never talks).

"I'LL GO FIRST!" Kiba shouted. "Truth or dare… INO!"

"Dare, obviously." Ino said, while inspecting her nails.

"Ok, hold on, let me think of a good dare." After what seemed to be an hour (5 minutes), Ino lost it.

"COMMON ALREADY!"

"What? Oh right, the dare. Completely forgot about that, sorry. I already knew a dare, I was just waiting to create and intense atmosphere."

"What… the… hell…"

"Ok then, right, the dare. I dare you, Ino, to… dress like Naruto and go around trying to get face-paint on innocent by-standers."

"Nani?!?"

"Exactly."

"What?" Now the other people playing were kinda weirded out by Kiba's dare.

"What the hell Kiba?" Sakura asked.

"Ya seriously!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Well, you guys wanted random!" Kiba said defending himself.

"NO THEY DIDN'T!" some random person yelled. "THEY DIDN'T WANT ME!"

"Fine, fine, alright, I'll change my dare."

"Good." Ino said, clearly satisfied.

"But now I dare you to kiss me."

"WHAT!"

"You heard me. Kiss me."

"KIBA YOU PERVERT!" surprisingly enough, it wasn't Ino that yelled this, but Shikamaru. Everyone thought he was asleep.

"Well, its either that or go around like Naruto."

Ino was in a pickle. She kept looking back to Naruto's orange jumpsuit (shudder) and then to Kiba, who was grinning like a madman.

"Man, the things I do for fashion and pride." She muttered as she walked towards Kiba (who was still grinning insanely). Fortunately though, she was stopped by a frantic looking Shikamaru. He grabbed onto her wrist tightly.

"You're not seriously going to do this, right?" he asked.

"Well, its better then going dressed up like Naruto and scaring random people. And seriously, its just a kiss."

Shikamaru didn't say anything, but looked at her for a long time before letting go of her wrist.

All seemed slow motion… you could hear Ino's heart beat a mile a way as she continued walking towards Kiba… she was getting closer…. And closer… God, is it just me or does Kiba seem to be like a mile away?

And suddenly Kiba came out of the bathroom.

Ino kept on looking to the Kiba in front of her and to the Kiba that just came out of the bathroom. Wtf?

"Huh?" was all she managed to say.

"Huh?" the Kiba that came out of the bathroom mirrored her words.

"Hold on, if you're Kiba, then he- wait a second, what?" Tenten said, clearly confused.

"Ya, I'm not getting any of this either." Chouji said, as the rest of the gang nodded their heads.

Suddenly both Kibas realized that there was another one of him and suddenly ran up to each other to hug themselves.

"OH ABIK! I've missed you so much!" said the Kiba who just came out of the bathroom. And the Sakura had enough.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!" she screamed.

The K.W.J.C.F.T.B (Kiba who just came from the bathroom) answerered:

"This, my friends, is my evil clone, called Abik! That's Kiba spelled backwards, just to let you know."

Here was everyone's reaction to this:

Tenten: Evil clone? What?

Ino: I was just about to kiss YOUR EVIL CLONE?!? KIBA YOU DUMBASS!

Shino: Well, isn't this interesting.

Sasuke: Hn. This is retarded.

Naruto: Abik isn't Kiba backwards! Wait a second… actually, give me a couple of minutes to figure this one out…

Chouji: Whatever.

Sakura: KIBA WHAT THE HELL?

Lee: So I'm not the only one that has a clone?

Shikamaru: …

Neji: Hn.

Gaara: twitch twitch

Temari: Ummm… you guys are freaks.

Kankurou: I have to agree with Temari on that one.

During the discussion of other peoples reactions, Kiba was busy hugging his evil clone. Why? I have no idea. Cuz they're just like that.

"Hey, Kiba, what the hell is your clone doing here?" Sakura asked.

"I dunno, hey, what _are_ you doing here?" K.W.J.C.F.T.B. asked his clone.

"Well, to be honest, I was just hanging around, you now, creating chaos and stuff, and then I hear this interesting conversation going on about a dare, so when you went to go to the washroom, I took over. Oh ya, and I'm a perv, so that's why I wanted Ino to kiss me."

Typically, Ino went insane. After beating _both_ Kiba's to a pulp, they resumed with their game.

"So, who is next?" Tenten said, completely ignoring to pained whimpers coming from the corner where the remains of both Kibas were.

"ME!" Naruto shouted, "Pleeeeeeeease?" Tenten nodded so Naruto continued. "I dare… drum roll please… SASUKE!"

"Typical," everyone sighed.

Both Sasuke and Naruto ignored them as Naruto concentrated on his dare.

"Sasuke… I… dare… you—"

"ENOUGH WITH THE DOT DOT DOTS ALREADY!" I yelled (A/N yes, I'm in this story.).

"Hey, who the Hell was that?" Naruto asked.

"The person in charge of our future lives in this story, duh." Ino said intelligently. Naruto had absolutely no idea what anyone was talking about, but he was smart enough to pretend to.

"Well, on with the dare." Sasuke said impatiently.

"Oh right, ya. I dare you to go and hit on Hinata… if we knew where she was…"

People's reactions:

Sakura: OMG NO! SASUKE IS IN LOVE WITH ME DUH! PLUS, HINATA IS CRAZY! SHE'LL KILL HIM!

Ino: SASUKE-KUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shikamaru: What the hell.

Kankurou: Once again, you guys are freaks.

Sasuke: twitch twitch

Gaara: twitch twitch

Chouji: Omg.

Neji: NARUTO YOU BASTARD I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Tenten: Wow.

Lee: has no idea what is going on

Shino: Ok… I wonder what will happen if I let loose this random ladybug that I happen to have with me…

Tenten and Neji: NOOOOOOO!!!!

Temari: Hmm… I wonder what will happen if I randomly use my fan to direct the wind into Tenten's face so that any random and coincidental ladybugs will land in her face… hmm…

Tenten and Neji: NOOOOOOO!!!!

Hinata (how just jumped in from the window tarzan style): MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ok, so maybe most of that didn't just happen. But Shino_ is_ about to let loose a ladybug… tsk tsk tsk, they never learn.

"NO SHINO DON'T LET THE BU OU—" Nei began to yell… to late. Out went the ladybug… Tenten giggled. Neji screamed (not really). Everyone else was like 0.o. And then… chaos.

Tenten started ripping apart Neji's room while singing "Skip to my Lou". Neji was trying to keep his calm and everyone else was freaking out and running in random directions that made no sense. A lot of people ended up bashing into walls. Oooook.

And_ then_ Hinata decided to crash through the window tarzan style. And _then_ Kiba realized what Sakura had said about Hinata torturing people… dear Lord.

"Teehee, having a party without me, eh?" Hinata began, "WELL NOW YOU WILL PAY—" but Hinata was interrupted because Tenten just hit her on the head with a baseball bat. No, Hinata wasn't dead, just unconscious. Now Neji was really freaking out.

"Tenten… Hiashi is going to kill me for not taking care of Hinata, you know that…" he said through his teeth.

"PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" Tenten responded.

"And when he kills me, I'm going to come and kill you in your sleep…" Neji continued.

"SILLY PUMPKIN! You can't do that! You're already dead!" Tenten said through giggles. "Plus, YOU CAN'T KILL ME WITHOUT CATCHIN ME!"

Neji growled and made a grab for her, but missed was caught by surprise when someone hugged him from behind. As he turned around, he was met by a pair of lips. Tenten kissed him ferociously, and when she finally pulled apart, she just smirked at his bewildered expression.

"I told you we needed to work on kissing," she said, still smirking.

"What the—" he began, but was rudely interrupted by a huge smashing noise. He twirled around, only to find the grand Hyuuga vase, their prize heirloom, on the ground in pieces. As if by instincts, he turned to Tenten, but she was fast asleep (I see she likes naps after kisses). Everyone in the room froze, scared by Neji's angered expression.

"Who," he pointed to the leftovers of the vase, "did that?"

Nobody said anything, but they all pointed towards Lee.

"Hehe… oops?" Lee chuckled nervously.

"Rock Lee… today is the day you DIE."

Lee screamed like a little girl and_ tried_ running away, but didn't succeed (of course). Meanwhile, everyone else was getting a hold of themselves and decided to ignore the screeches of pain Lee was making while he was being beat up mercilessly. They liked ignoring these kind of situations.

"So… Neji and Lee are clearly busy and Tenten is sleeping… for some reason… let's continue our game, shall we?" Sakura inquired innocently enough. But Kiba was going crazy in his head, deliberating with himself weather or not that was the real Hinata.

"Hey, Ino and Sakura, what happened? What did Hinata do to you?" he asked.

Both girls sighed from relief. "Finally someone actually cares!" Ino said happily.

"So, what happened?"

"Well… here is our story…"

* * *

**Dun dun dun… CLIFFHANGER –ish.**


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10!!! Sorry for the really looooooooooooooooooooooooong update, I've been procrastinating.**

**Thank you reviewers!**

**Disclaimer (in Italian): Non possiedo il Naruto **

"…And then she led us to her EVIL LAIR, which was conveniently placed in my basement (how I never noticed all the torture traps there when I do my laundry escapes me), and she tied us down and started experimenting all her torture devices on us! I swear she's a MAD SCIENTIST!!! Me and Sakura barely escaped ALIVE!" Ino said all in one breath.

Silence from the shocked group.

"Well?" Sakura asked, eager to know what they thought of their adventure and Hinata the mad scientist.

"Ino… You… do laundry?" was all Naruto managed to say.

Ino died on the spot. No she didn't, but boy, was she pissed.

Ino looked like she would blow up at any sudden movement, but then to everyone's surprise, she burst out into tears.

"How could you guys be so mean and careless?" she said between sobs, "We hardly came out alive and your shocked that I can do laundry?"

"Shh, there there, Ino," Sakura said comfortingly as she shot death glares that rivaled Sasuke's and Neji's to everyone else. Everyone was scared stiff.

"Well, oooook, I say we go find Tsunade to help us with our wee Hinata problem," Kankurou suggested.

"GOOD IDEA! DATTEBAYO!" Guess who.

Neji was still in complete shock, he couldn't believe that sweet and innocent Hinata actually made, and _tested_, torture devices. Holy crap.

* * *

Hinata stared through the window, chuckling softly to herself. They actually thought that the unconscious form on the ground was her, when really it was a mud and jelly clone. Now the _real_ fun begins. She looked down at the small circular bombs she held in her hand before throwing them.

* * *

BANG.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Tenten screamed.

"A BOMB! WHAT ELSE COULD MAKE THE WHOLE ROOM EXPLODE?!?" Neji yelled back.

Everyone else was going insane. Except for Ino and Sakura who were huddling in a corner muttering something about "Hinata's come baaaaaaaaack…". Creepy.

Suddenly KIba stopped running around in circles and gasped, pointing a shaky finger at the window.

"I-I-I saw her! I really did! It was Hinata! She was laughing evilly! But that can't be possible since she's right the—" but when Kiba looked around to see the unconscious body of Hinata, it disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"DAMNIT!" Kankouru yelled.

So all 15 (I'm bot actually sure how many they are) of them hopped to the yellow brick road the see the wonderful wizard of Oz, Tsunade!

Ok, maybe not, but they all went to see Tsunade.

* * *

"Well, duh." Was all Tsunade could say when she heard they're story.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DUH?!?" Kiba yelled.

"Well, let's start this easy. Who here has noticed that Hiashi is crazy?" Tsunade replied.

Neji and Tenten raised there arms.

"Ok, who has noticed that Hinata and Hiashi are _related_?" Tsunade continued.

Everyone but Naruto raised there hands.

"Good, and now, have any of you realized that Hinata and Hiashi have the same genes?"

Naruto gasped, "Hinata wears _jeans_?!?"

Everyone just ignored Naruto as the sudden realization hit them.

"So… have Hinata and Hiashi been working together all this time?" Tenten asked.

"Once again, I say, well, duh." Tsunade said.

"Then what do we do?" Ino gasped.

"I suggest… RUN FOR YOUR DAMN LIVES!" Tsunade yelled as she disappeared in a puff of smoke. (Note: everyone found out later that she was just hiding in her basement with a couple of bottles of sake.)

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!?!?!?" Almost everyone yelled at the same time, except for Sasuke, Gaara, Neji and Shino 'cause they are just to damn cool.

"Ok everyone, calm down," Tenten said, deciding to take charge. Obviously that didn't make anyone's situation any better.

"Maybe we should listen to Tsunade-sama and "run for our damn lives"," Sakura suggested.

"Ya, like that's gonna help, she's just gonna track us down." Shikamaru said like the smarty-pants he was.

"Umm… well, er…. We were actually planning to leave, like right now, you know, cuz, um… we kinda, you know, value our lives and stuff…" Temari said nervously.

"YOU'RE LEAVIN US TO FEND FOR OUR OWN?" Kiba shouted.

Too late though, all three of the Suna team were gone.

So now, Neji, Sakura, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Tenten, Lee, Naruto, Ino, Chouji, aaaaaaand I think that's it, were preparing for the battle of their _lives_. To they had absolutely no idea what they were getting themselves into.

**Hehe, Hinata and Hiashi are my favorites in this story…**


	11. Author's note

**Author's note: **

**Ok people, I seriously need ideas, so please help me. I currently have no idea where this story is going. Like seriously, so if you have any ideas, please tell me/review. No, I'm not doing this just to get more reviews, I literally have no clue where this story is going. Thanks a bunch!**

**Hitomi-and-Sinner**


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11! Recently I got this BRILLIANT idea in someone's review (you know who you are!) so I'm gonna go with that. **

**WARNING: this ffic is gonna get really weird starting this chapter…**

**Disclaimer (backwards): Oturan nwo t'nod I.**

"MWUAHAHAHAHA!" the evil alien in the form of Hinata screeched out. Yes, yes, everything was going according to plan…

MEANWHILE

Everybody had regrouped to fight the forces of evil. Maybe it would have looked better if they weren't all wearing buckets on their heads.

"Hey Neji, any idea why we're wearing buckets on our heads?" Kiba asked as he fastened his so he doesn't lose it.

"Of course. It's because, if Hinatacomesintheformofamoosethenwe'llallbeprotectedandshewon'tbeabletohitourheadswithhernotnormalantlersandthenwecanbeatherupandpreformanexorcismsothethewholeworlcouldbesavedandimtheking. Duh." Neji said.

Kiba, who didn't understand a thing Neji said(except for something about Hinata being a moose, but Neji would _never_ say something weird like that), just nodded, to afraid of what he would do if he said he didn't understand.

Suddenly Lee popped out of nowhere, but what was really weird (because everyone was used to Lee popping out of nowhere by now.) was that he wasn't wearing his obnoxious _green_ spandex suit, but he was wearing an obnoxious _purple_ spandex suit.

"Wow. Now _this_ is a breakthrough! The director is gonna be so happy with me!" said the cameraman who had in fact been following all the ninjas since they were born to create a TV show called "Naruto".

"Let's get a close up, shall we?" the camera man continued. He walked forward stealthily, only to walk into Neji. Uh oh.

"_Who_ are _you_?" Neji asked suspiciously. Naruto suddenly started crying.

"He's the man I see in my dreams! STALKER!"

With that Neji killed the camera man.

MEANWHILE AT TV STATION

"Damnit people! They killed our only camera man willing to go stalk ninjas! Damn! What are we going to do? The show was going so well!" the director of "Naruto" asked the rest of his crew.

"We could invent the rest…" some random person said.

"BRILLIANT! I LOVE IT! Now let's start inventing… Hey, how about we kill of some of the most amazing characters, make some other characters into complete bastards and….. make the show revolve more around Sasuke then Naruto. Oh ya and we could totally fake the deaths of the awesomest Akatsuki members! This show is going to be a hit!"

* * *

BACK AT KONOHA LAND

"Well, now that we got rid of him, we can go forward with our mission." Tenten said, who randomly appeared out of nowhere to.

"Um, what exactly _is_ our mission?" Kiba asked uncertainly.

"To fight Hinata you dumbass."

"No, I know _that_, but how are we going to do it?"

Silence.

No one had any idea who they were going to fight her. Only thing was, they didn't know that Hiashi had finally gained consciousness again. And that now he was angry. And ready to have the entire Hyuuga clan fight them. Shiiiiiiiiiit.

* * *

Seems like the ninja of Konoha were in a pickle. Let's see the situation here:

-Hinata is actually an evil alien out to get everyone.

-Hiashi is pissed and has the entire Hyuuga clan (with the exception of Neji) ready for war.

-Tsunade is nowhere to be seen.

-Someone's Christmas tree just fell over tear.

-They just found out they have been stalked to create a TV show.

-Tenten is just about to have a nasty encounter with the Queen ladybug.

-Kiba just lost his bucket.

* * *

Suddenly a huge shadow loomed over the group of ninjas. Everyone turned around slowly… only to find the scariest looking thing ever known to mankind. Hiashi, holding a dagger, grinning crazily at them.

"How have you been _doing_ my children?" he said, resembling Orochimaru. Behind him, the rest of the Hyuuga clan slowly stepped forward.

Tenten poked Neji in the side.

"Neji!" she hissed, "All the others RAN AWAY! Everyone! Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Kiba, Shino, Lee, Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino! THEY DITCHED US! Oh and by the way, your uncle is scaring me again."

Neji gulped. "Oh lord…"

Now the Hyuuga clan was closing in on them. They were outnumbered. Damn, they were screwed.

"Neji… we're dead aren't we?" Tenten whispered as realization hit her.

All Neji could do was nod.

Suddenly the crowd parted, and one lone figure made her way towards them.

"Hello Neji-nii-san…"

"Hinata…" Neji whispered. Tenten was trembling beside him. Man, this was just getting weirder and weirder.

"Dearest cousin. I have something to tell you… I'm not your cousin."

Now everyone gasped, even Hiashi.

"What is the meaning of this, daughter?" he yelled.

"Can it, freak of nature! I'm talking right now, can't you see?" she smirked when she saw Hiashi's face go white as paper. "Where was I? Oh, yes. Neji, I'm not your cousin. Your _real_ cousin actually thinks she won a free trip to Cuba. She is working on her tan. Don't worry. But don't you really want to know who I _really_ am?"

Neji stayed silent.

"Well, I will tell you. I am… GUBYDAL, QUEEN OF THE LADYBUGS!" With that, Hinata suddenly exploded out of her skin, only to be recreated in the form of a HUGE LADYBUG!

Neji flinched.

Hiashi blinked.

Tenten giggled.

**I told you people this story was gonna get weird starting now…**

**Thanks so much darthekato! I changed your idea a teensy bit, but it still has the main idea! I owe it all to you!**


	13. Chapter 12

**Ok. Do you people REALLY want to know why I haven't updated in ever???? No you don't, since the explanation is insanely long, and it involves broken laptops, lost work, procrastination, and revolving doors. Oh ya, sorry it's so short again…**

**Disclaimer: Naruto ne m'appartient pas.**

Neji screamed. Like really loudly. And every one quieted down. Even Gubydal was quiet.

"Neji, did you just _scream_?"

There was an awkward silence.

"Whatever, back to destroying you and your pride in the most honorable way imaginable… A THUMB WAR!!" Gubydal screeched.

Tenten, who was hyper beyond belief now, was beginning to speak in chat speak.

"WTF!? Wat the hel iz dis shit!? Nvm, i wanta cola - ASAP!"

Neji grabbed Tenten and attempted to get them through the crowd of Hyuugas. Once, they were about to get caught, but fortunately Tenten scared everyone away by hissing. Unfortunately for Gubydal, she couldn't move very fast since she was so big. And Hiashi was now going through a phase of schizophrenia and was rocking around in a dark corner. Oook… 0.o

So, technically, Neji and Tenten were safe for now. FOR NOW…

"Hey Neji, why are we hiding? I mean, it's just a freaking thumb war!" Tenten said as she balanced on her head in a cave that Neji had so conveniently found.

"You don't know what you're talking about. In ancient times, the Hyuuga family used to have ULTIMATE THUMB WARS WITH LADYBUGS!!! No, seriously, people used to DIE daily!!!"

"…"

"IT'S TRUE!!!" Neji insisted.

"The itsy-bitsy spider, went up the…" Tenten sang in response.

So, Neji decided to take the drastic move and take matters in his own hands. Dun dun dun… He decided to team up with the only group that would be able to ever save them. Akatsuki.

* * *

So, a couple of hours later, Neji found himself sitting in Akatsuki's comfortable waiting room. He had also brought Tenten with him, who was having strange hallucinations.

"Neji, why are you a camel?" she asked.

All he could do was pat her head.

A friendly looking man-eating plant was typing at a computer behind the reception desk.

"So… Neji, right?" the plant said in a sweet and blood-thirsty voice. "You have an appointment with Leader-sama iiiiiiiiiiiin approximately 87 seconds."

"That's it?" Neji asked.

"Well," the receptionist replied, "As you can see, we are not very busy people on Wednesdays."

"But today is Fri—"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. Thank you."

Neji sank back into his chair. Wow, it was so easy getting in contact with Akatsuki. I mean, all you had to do was look them up in the phone book. They even had an ad posted in the famous magazine "_Villains International_". Why Neji had a copy of that magazine… no one will ever know…

Suddenly something occurred to Neji. If it was this easy to get to Akatsuki, why was Sasuke still having such a hard time trying to find his brother?

* * *

Sasuke stood at the edge of the Akatsuki waiting room. He had been waiting to be let in by Leader-sama for TWO YEARS, when everyone else had thought that he had gone to Orochimaru. But the truth was, he had been waiting in the shadowy corner for ever, just to discuss with Leader-sama about his proposition to kill Itachi. Two years…

Another sudden realization hit Neji. Sasuke had been standing a in a random dark corner ever since Neji and Tenten had walked in.

'_How long has he been sitting there?_' Neji thought.

The friendly murderous looking plant thing interrupted his thoughts though.

"Leader-sama will see you now."

**DUN DUN DUN….**


	14. Chapter 14

**Er... I understand that I haven't uploaded in... forever... but, I award everyone with their golden patience with a CHAPPIE! That a lot of writing (for me). I've been working more on my art work then writing. I think I'm actually getting better! If you wanna see it, me deviantart is ****www.time-flies. ** **:D**

Disclaimer: I ain't ownz no Narutoooooooo.

Neji's hand was shaking as he reached out for the doorknob. He was only one door away from meeting Leader-sama. Only one door away from changing his _life_.

Unfortunately, Tenten, being still high from that huge ladybug, wasn't taking this situaton to seriously.

"MOM. I want ICE CREAM. NOW." she shrieked.

"Tenten. Shut. Up. I was JUST about to open the doorway that will change our lives _forever_, and you ruined the moment. And I'm not your mother. Please try to contain your random outbursts when we meet Leader-sama."

"Can I also get some ramen on the way?"

Neji sighed, and immediately decided maybe it was best that she didn't come with him to meet the notorious criminal leader. Who knows what could happen...

"Tenten. Listen to me. You be a good girl and DON'T MOVE FROM HERE."

"Ok."

Neji took a deep breath, and entered the dark room, closing the door behind him. Tenten stood still for a while (a couple of seconds) just staring at the door, and, as any other person would do, she walked away. I mean, who actually means it when they say they'll sit still?

* * *

MEANWHILE...

Neji gulped and walked into the dark nothingness.

"Hello, NejI, a raspy voice said, I have been awaiting you..."

Neji gulped again.

A dark figure suddenly became visible in the darkness... (??)

Neji gulped once more.

"GOD DAMNIT DUDE STOP GULPING. Geez. Get over yourself man. Seriously. You just totally messed up the intensity in the scene."

"Uh... sorry?" Neji said, clearly confused. Was this really the most feared Leader-sama?

"Anyway, what's done is done. So, you're the Hyuuga that wanted to meet me?"

"You'r_e Leader_?"

"Yup. The one and only."

"Uh... ok then, I have something I have to ask you..."

"Shoot."

"Huh? Shoot what? WHERE??"

"Uh, it's a figure of speech or something like that. It means, ask away."

"Oh. Ok."

And so Neji explained...

* * *

Meanwhile, Tenten was having the time of her life. So far, she had found some dudes clay explosives. She set them off in a couple of rooms, and then, afterwards, she found another random dude's awesome scythe. Or however you spell it. Whatever.

Currently she was cutting up anything she could get her hands on with the sharp weapon.

All of a sudden, a crowd of mad Akatsuki members stampeded towards her. A couple of them were all black and smokey as if they'd just been in an explosive...

Another one with freakin' silver hair was freakin' out about his missing scythe...

And then they all noticed her.

**I know, I know its SHORT. But at least its something. :D Rejoice! I updated! Another chappie coming up soon!!**


	15. Chapter 15

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* * *

**

AHA!! It did not take me another five months to upload another chapter! It took me less then TWO MONTHS (I think at least)!! I am so proud! ON WITH THE CHAPTER! Thanks to

**loves-emo-guys-with-hair who gave me a brilliant idea...**

**I love all my reviewers to pieces :3  
**

**Disclaimer: Doesn't **_**every**_** fangirl wished they owned Naruto?**

Tenten looked up to all the Akatsuki members with big, innocent brown eyes. How could they doubt such a cute girl? Forget the fact the she was holding a super big scythe in one hand and explosives in the other...

Yet, the Akatsuki fell for her trick.

"Look at those adorable eyes!" Itachi cooed, which normally would have scared the heck out of everyone, if they weren't doing the same thing.

"And that darling hair! Just like a tiny panda bear! How cute!" Zetsu squealed.

"What an innocent sweetheart!" Deidara agreed.

Meanwhile, Tobi was sulking in a corner, because he was mad that this new girl took all the attention away from him.

"She is dangerous. Unlike Tobi. Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said in an attempt to get their attention.

"Shut it, Tobi!" Hidan yelled, "Can't you see we're busy?"

"What's your name, little girl?" Sasori asked (why he was alive again, nobody will ever know...).

"Tenten," she said with a sweet smile. Everyone "aww"-ed and "how cute!"-ed. Tobi thought it was disgusting.

* * *

Leader nodded gravely.

"Queen ladybug, you say? Yes, this could be very serious... then it is decided! I shall assemble my troops, and TO THE RESCUE WE SHALL GO!"

Neji stared at him wide-eyed.

"Uh... I'll go get the rest of the Akatsuki..." Leader mumbled, clearly embarassed about his little outburst.

Then Neji remembered Tenten. What a good girl she had been, to promise him to wait outside. Oh, he was so proud. He'll even give her a lollipop. Neji remained this happy, that is, until he opened the door. And, of course, Tenten wasn't there. Kinda dumb of him, eh? To leave her like that. Especially in a building full of dangerous criminals... Oh. Crap.

* * *

"And now it's your turn, Itachi-kun!" Tenten squealed. What was Tenten doing exactly?

She was cutting their hair with Hidan's scythe. Holy shit.

So far she had cut Kakuzu's, Zetsu's, and Hidan's hair. It was bad enough that Tenten, in her current totally out-of-her-mind state, was cutting dangerous criminals' hair with ONCE HUGE DEADLY WEAPON, but she had cut their hair Lee-style.

Lee-style.

Oh. Mah. Gawd.

Itachi squirmed impatiently. "Common, Tenten, cut my hair!"

Tenten ran her hair through Itachi's nice, silky, black hair. It made her so excited that she was about to CUT IT ALL OFF. She placed a bowl on Itachi's head.

SNIP.

Off with the hair.

"FELLOW NINJAS, TODAY WE EMBARK ON A VERY PERILOUS JOURNEY–" Leader began, having appeared with Neji out of the blue. He stopped abruptly what he was saying, having just seen Itachi moving around in his chair, with an excited look on his face, with half his hair missing. His hair was now, to Leader's surprise, a bowl cut.

Oh, the horror.

"Uh... you guys? What the HELL are you guys doing? Do you not remember that talk we had when we formed this group? We are criminals, therefor, we have to look irresistibly hot for the fangirls, and totally cool. This bowl cut thing... is just... no."

"But Tenten here said it was very fashionable!" Zetsu gushed.

"Uh... no."

Awkward silence.

Plop.

Tenten fell over, unconscious. No, no one hit her on the head or something, she just randomly decided to take a power nap, at that very moment. Neji ran over to help her up (even though she was asleep).

More awkward silence.

"So... are you guys gonna help us?" Neji said in attempt to break the silence.

"OH ya! TO KONOHA!"

What a journey awaits them...

**All credit of Itachi with a bowl cut goes towards loves-emo-guys-with-hair! **

**Reviewers are forever loved and cherished :3**


	16. Chapter 16

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* * *

**

Wow, I've been dead for a while. Sucks.

**Anyways, the point is, I'm SOOOOOOOORRRRRRYYYYYY, and here's another chappie! -**

**Disclaimer: Don't even make me say it. **

IN CUBA

Hinata was chillaxin' on the gorgeous sandy white beach, working on her tan, when a curious thought crossed her mind.

'I wonder how the others back in Konoha are doing...'

She thought for a while, before she just decided to forget about it, ('They're probably doing fine, I have nothing to worry about...') and continue on her tanning and chillaxing.

* * *

BACK WITH THE AKASTUKI

All the Akatsuki members were doing their usual "preparing for the battle" ritual. Which consisted of throwing rice in each others faces while doing a tribal dance. Imagine how much fun Neji was having, witnessing this while trying to slap some life into Tenten.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Deidara howled.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," Zetsu screeched.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," Kisame yelled.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU," Itachi… uued.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII," Hidan shrieked.

"YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY," Tobi yed.

Silence.

"Tobi, un, that doesn't work. We were chanting the VOWELS and you chanted a letter that's only SOMETIMES a vowel. Sorry Tobi, you just don't make the cut. Un."

Tobi walked away dejectedly. Poor Tobi. Too bad he doesn't even know what dejectedly means. Poor, poor Tobi.

After a little more rice throwing and tribal dancing and vowel chanting, the Akatsuki announced that they were ready, to Neji's relief.

Pein was jumping around excitedly, happy to finally be able to do something that's remotely evil and involves blood. Tenten finally woke up and stared with disbelief at the Akatsuki, who were SUPPOSED to be evil and stuff.

"Tenten! You're awake!" Neji cried, relieved that she was not only awake, but also back to normal.

"Neji… what the heck are we doing here and why the heck are S ranked criminals acting like 2 year olds?" Tenten whispered.

Neji sighed, and explained. Poor Neji, Always having to explain.

After a while, the Akatsuki ACTUALLY decided it was time to leave, they put on their evil and total hottie faces and OFF TO KONOHA.

* * *

AT KONOHA

People were scared. Tsunade was still nowhere to be seen, and rumors were flying around that there would be another thumbwar competition, held by the Hyuuga

clan. The city elders cowered in corners, remembering the days where they we forced to be part of thumbwars. Baaaaad memories….

ON THE ROAD TO KONOHA

* * *

The Akatsuki was actually acting how criminals should act, which is really cool and nonchalant. Except for some of them, because now they had bowl cuts. That just

totally ruined the coolness. Oh well, aside from that, Neji and Tenten were keeping up with them, and were kinda scared about what might happen back in Konoha.

They had no idea…

**Ok, it's SHORT, I know, but I'm kinda in the middle of writers block, cuz I have no idea what will happen in Konoha… I'm starting to get weirded out by my own story…**

**My undying love to reviewers!! **


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